I’m not at the top, I’m not rich, but I’m busy…and happy

They say stay in your lane, boy…but we go where we want to.

So the title pretty much gave everything away. I went back to my parent’s house today and rummaged through dusty bookshelves, and dusty books, and dusty past-papers and man, am how happy am I to be a hoarder. Notes upon notes of dusty, musty goodness just waiting to spur a sinus attack and all I could do – besides hold my breath and thank the universe for my neurotic filing system – was smile.

I’m not sure how many people are following my ramblings, but in any case I’ll catch everyone up. 3rd World Writer is my personal blog where I basically share my thoughts about my life, my hate for traffic and document this whole “make your own way” concept that I spoke about in my very first blog post. It’s where I tell the internet about my happy moments, my more difficult ones, and just be honest about what’s happening in my life in hopes that it may make at least one reader feel a little less alone.

More recently I’ve started the Holistic Learning Center (aka HLC) website/blogsite which is tied into my education awareness, private tutoring (hence the rummaging through dusty textbooks) and remedial service initiative – and is a little more “professional” (though I don’t really like that term). This of course, for those who’ve read my very first blog post on 3rd World Writer, is me, making my own way after I had my fill of disappointments for the year and decided to quit my brand new, shiny job and break away from the norm (and as luck would have it, a steady paycheck).

So anyway, now that we’ve cleared that up, back to the point – I’m not at the top, I’m not rich, but I’m busy…and happy. This sentiment concerns as of today: branching off on my own career path, having 3 students in my private tutoring business after two weeks of being active, getting calls from people who’ve seen my flyers, publishing my first e-newsletter for HLC and of course, getting messages and emails from people who’d like to send positive vibes, support and advice my way. I’m at peace with my decisions, I feel liberated, and more than anything I feel like maybe this is where I was always meant to end up…that sounds pretty cheesy, but what can I say, I’ve got this bag of chips, so I might as well… (see what I did there)

It’s so strange how perception works. I collected my first set of fees from tutoring a few days ago. It wasn’t much, it was nothing compared to a monthly salary, but this was the first set of money that I made on my own, using my talents and innate passion, not depending on someone else’s approval, not giving 150% to someone else’s dream. And, as I entered all my receipts into a grown-up looking, fancy excel spreadsheet and I saw the difference between the income and expenditure columns in bright red, negative numbers I couldn’t help but smile.

Red never looked so good.

So yeh, I’m not on the top, I’m not rich, but I’m busy…and happy. I don’t feel like I’m wasting time, or energy. I don’t feel like I’m failing at life. I don’t feel guilty or anxious or stuck. I feel productive for the first time in a year, like I’m making an impact – and I wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything in the world. I feel like I actually have some wiggle-room, some space to breathe and grow. I’m in the trenches every day, running things on my own terms, in my own timing, moving to the beat of my own drum.

So no, I won’t stay in my lane, I’ll go wherever I want to. And you should too…

For anyone interested in learning a little about the Holistic Learning Center please have a look at these links:

(photo credit)

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