Today is 4 years since Simeon and I “got together”. That phrase is so awkward, it sounds way too dramatic. I imagine that before all this relationship stuff we were two separate sides toast – I was peanut butter, he was jelly (obviously) – and one day we said “you know what, we’d be OK together, let’s be a sandwich”
For the record, that analogy had way more connotations than I meant it to have – let’s just say that 4 years ago today, the 26th January, is the day Simeon and I decided to stop with the games and give this whole “relationship” thing a chance.
And yes Grandpas and Grandmas of the world who’ve “been together” longer than us – of course, 4 years isn’t 50, but I think celebrating the little things is important. Acknowledging milestones keeps us hopeful, positive and in my opinion act as a kind of rejuvenation, a motivation to keep moving forward, to learn from the past year(s), to think about how far we’ve come, and lead each other through another year together.
Time is such a weird thing. Some days I feel like it’s been an eternity, other days I think, “Seriously? 4 years?” It feels like just last week I was ignoring your texts because of a grudge I’d kept from 2 years previously (that’s a whole other story). And if you think that time flew with our relationship, imagine on the 25th April, 2016 we’ll be celebrating our first wedding anniversary – already.
Over the years many people have asked about how our relationship is going, how long we’ve been together, what I see in Simeon and how being faithful and happy even works. My answer?
Being happy is easy because of one major reason: Simeon has never taken anything away from me. I’ve never felt robbed, cheated or taken for granted He’s only ever improved, enhanced and added to what I already had. He’s only made me better.
As far as I see it, friendships and relationships are not different. Being someone’s friend, or being their girl/boyfriend aren’t two separate concepts – there’s a reason the word “friend” exists in all those words. I always wonder how people respect, value and be kind to their friends, but mistreat their significant other in all forms and fashions. Both friendships and romantic relationships are on the same spectrum as far as I see it, and simply put, I won’t be rude or dishonest or inconsiderate to my friends – so why would I treat by boyfriend/husband in this way?
Think about it for a moment…this makes perfect sense to me but then again, I’m insane more days than not so do with that what you will.
I once had a friend who differed from me in all ways. We cared about different things, we had different passions and the list goes on and on. Yet we managed to get along really well, and were truly best of friends. Regardless of our differences, we understood and respected one another. I always told him that the main source of our friendship was our mutual respect for one another. The ability to listen and appreciate what the other was saying, despite not necessarily agreeing with one word of it made us work.
With Simeon, I’d like to think it’s the same general concept. Anyone who knows us, knows we’re absolutely different in every way. Let’s think about the things we both actually like:
- Book Sales
- K.F.C. Popcorn Chicken
- Pork – in any shape, form or style.
- Coffee (even thought he was more of a “tea” guy when we first met – the horror!)
- The Walking Dead
- Our dog, Fluffy
- Fried Calamari
LOL @ how many of these are food related.
That being said, if he wants to go see a play, I complain but go any way. I like anything tangy, limey and tequila-y while he’s a mudslide, Baileys, 3-sugars kinda guy. He doesn’t eat spicy food most days because I can’t handle it and I learned to play Yugioh that one time so he’d have a real opponent. I never wanted children, still don’t, but I’d consider it (a long way from now) because I know that’s what he wants. He never really thought of leaving Trinidad, or travelling on the whole, but because that’s my dream, he dreams too. I drive if we’re going to an unfamiliar place because I know he’s not comfortable with “winging it”, and he drives every other time because what’s life without some good ole fashioned gender roles?
We both have strong personalities and while I’m most definitely more bossy and outspoken than he is, we appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of each other’s characters. We listen to each other, admit when we’re wrong, and never stop being honest in our communication.
Yes, it’s only been 4 years, but we celebrate because we’ve worked hard at it. We’ve resolved fights, compromised, and agreed to disagree more times than I can count. We’ve laughed and cried together (me more than him), but regardless of that it always comes back to one question “how do we keep this going?”. It’s only been 4 years, but it’s been a good 4 years and soon we’d have spent our first year together as a married couple.
So that’s why instead of doing some work for my masters degree, or planning my tutoring lessons, I’ve taken an hour to write all these things down. It’s nice to be positive, to feel proud and hopeful. Don’t ever think that your moments aren’t valid enough in the grand scheme of things, or aren’t “big” enough to celebrate.